Doctor Wars: The Sweet Taste Of Your Own Tongue
by Coleiosis
Summary: Continuing from the previous story "Dancing Daleks". Mace Windu and Bib Fortuna beg the Doctor to go back to the past and save poor Lushros Dophine from eating waffles behind the motor of Mace's car, causing his death. Even in the world of science fiction, things can go crazy! Featuring stuff about me in the introduction...


Doctor Wars (again)

The Sweet Taste of Your Own Tongue

By Cole Bezotte

Introduction (READ FIRST!)

You are all probably familiar with my story "Doctor Wars: Dancing Daleks". That was the first of a Star Wars/Doctor Who crossover I made. It was literally my 49th fanfic. My fiftieth was a chapter for the long-gone PlayStation All-Stars series; it was cancelled in July 2014, if you remember. If not, go see the other stories and find out why.

I've been writing all these good stories, and yet you still don't know me personally. But thanks to a positive comment by a cheery guest, Da guy next door, it's time I spill the basics:

I was born in June 27, 1998, in Kenosha, Wisconsin. It's quite easy to determine my age without even using a calculator, unless you have to use what they have on the internet. I currently reside in Sherrard, Illinois, with my parents, my two brothers, and my cat.

Sorry, was that too fast for you? Then let's dig deeper.

My dad is Lee Bezotte, born January 1, 1971. Lee is a full-time pastor and leader of a church we planted in Moline, known as Mercy Vineyard. It started in 2011, the same time I began playing bass guitar on stage with the worship team my mother leads. Lee inspires many people with his words and says the right things that bring people closer to God.

My mother is Wendy Bezotte, born March 11, 1973. I must say that she is the best mother in the world. She is a musician, like me and dad, and has an amazing singing voice; and she is also the co-pastor of Mercy Vineyard. She is very friendly, if you were to ever meet her one day.

My older brother is Forrest Bezotte, born May 21, 1995. He is a fanfic writer like me; he writes stories based on Rooster Teeth's "RWBY". I don't like Rooster Teeth, but I'm not going to rub it in Forrest's face. After all, I hardly see him anymore because of his job at Hy-Vee, and his work at Blackhawk College.

My younger brother is Hudson Bezotte, a creative kid born March 14, 2003. He loves building these nifty inventions, either with LEGO bricks, or with real technology (he does good at soldering). He and I like to draw in our spare time, but that's only if I don't have any good ideas for fanfic stories. He may not like some of the same things I like, but we still get along very well.

And finally, there's my cat Wilson. Big-eyed, chubby, and lazy Wilson. We did NOT adopt him; we brought him in after he visited our front porch for the billionth time. Anyone who loves cats is liable to pick him up and pet him until he purrs the loudest he's ever done.

So, now that we got that out of the way. Let's get down to business. That comment I mentioned earlier was from a girl filled with joy and excitement. So, I'm willing to fulfill a wish and make a sequel to "Dancing Daleks", with more comedy than ever! Enjoy!

The Sweet Taste of Your Own Tongue

Mace Windu sipped from his can of Mountain Dew and stared down at the motor of his broken car, not saying a word at all. Next to him stood Bib Fortuna, belching after taking too big of a chug from his Coca-Cola can. He looked closer at the motor, hoping the gas from his burp would keep it going; but nothing happened.

"I think I know what's wrong with your car," Bib spoke up as he pointed to the FORD logo on the car's front. "It's a Ford… That means 'fix it yourself'."

"That is NOT what Ford stands for, sucker!" Mace barked in replied. "'Fix it yourself' would be 'FIY' for short! Besides that, you have to look behind that motor to see what's completely wrong about it."

Bib rubbed his eyes to see the mess of waffles that jammed everything in the car's hood. "I see what's wrong…" he said, "…but I don't see the point…"

"That IS the point!" Mace yelled. "You stole my waffles and ate them in my car! Only YOU could have done it, you troublemaker!"

"I STILL don't see the point. You'll have to show me your pencil in order for me to see your point. Get it?"

Enraged, Mace turned to go back into his messy house. He was in no mood to be talking to Bib Fortuna, especially after all the trouble he caused over many months. It had been a very long time since Bib stole the Dalek armor and used it to terrorize Nute Gunray's Chinese Restaurant. But there was still something else that bothered Mace: his rival, Lando Calrissean, had permanently turned the moon into a giant sombrero filled with guacamole. It meant Mexican green slush would fall onto the planet every time it would rain.

As Mace crunched the doorknob with his grip, he swung that door open and stepped inside his home. But the step he took was upon a person lying on the floor of his living room. He looked down to see Lushros Dophine, dead as the doorknob that Mace held. Mace could tell that the green Neimoidian was dead because of the letter "X" over each of his eyes. But what made Mace more upset was the engine oil that was smothered all over his face.

"So THIS is the sucker that stole my waffles and had fun in the car's hood," Mace thought as he calmed himself down. "I should have known Bib is smarter than this."

"NO!" Bib shouted from behind. "Lushros is dead! WWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Shut up, you crybaby!" Mace barked at him. "I know he's dead! But there is only one way to bring him back!"

"How is that possible?!"

"Don't you remember meeting the Doctor while you attacked that restaurant? He's GOT to be nearby!"

Mace pulled one of Bib's head-tails and dragged him outside into the front yard. Out there, the TARDIS was already parked in the driveway, willing to let anyone walk right in and be welcomed. Mace pushed Bib into there and met the surprise that it was indeed bigger on the inside. At its main control console stood the legendary Doctor, currently in his thirteenth form.

 **(Note: You gotta know all the faces of the Doctor in order to know what I mean. This note goes out only to those who are currently not "Whovians". This Doctor is portrayed by Peter Capaldi.)**

"I say there!" the Doctor exclaimed as he turned to see his two new visitors. "What are kids doing in my TARDIS?!"

"You parked in my driveway!" Mace replied, letting go of Bib's head. "You snooped in my dinner! You bumped into the ceiling, which now has to be washed and sterilized, so you get nothing!"

"I'll get something, alright! I'll get ANSWERS! Any reason why you randomly barged in here?"

"There's a friend of ours who is dead!" Bib answered the Doctor. "He ate waffles while sitting under the hood of Mace's car. Can you travel back to when the car was working perfectly?"

"I can…" the Doctor replied, "…and I will… But under one condition: you both must be my companions for the next few months."

"You don't have to watch us!" Mace objected. "We're not babies!"

"Do you want your friend to live again, or not?" the Doctor continued.

"Fine… But no tricks!"

The Doctor pulled the correct levers and switches to bring them back a few hours before the incident. Right when he landed at the right spot, he opened the doors and found exactly what caused the death of poor Lushros Dophine. He watched motionlessly as the past began to unfold itself; he saw another Mace Windu park his car at the driveway of his house. Once Mace got into the house, that's when very odd things began to take place: three Daleks arrived at the front yard and opened the car's gas tank to fill it with an explosive liquid that would ignite when the car started.

"Ahhh…" the Doctor muttered. "Now I see it! Mace did not know that Lushros would soon climb under the hood of the car, so he started the car and let the explosive take effect. That's what damaged it! So, when he went to go get help from Bib, the Daleks dragged Lushros to the front door of the house to make it look like an accident!"

"So you know these creeps, eh?" Bib said as he began chewing a stick of gum.

"Of course!" the Doctor replied. "They are my worst enemy; I first met them at the time they were at war with the Thals. But enough of that now! They must be stopped before Lushros takes his toll!"

"Don't worry…" Bib said in his rough, scratchy voice. "I got this!"

Bib blew a large bubble with his gum, then quickly took it out of his mouth for action. He threw the gum at one of the Daleks' eyestalk, causing him to go blind. All he could see was pink.

"WHERE IS THE PATH?!" the Dalek shouted. "I CANNOT SEE! EXTERMINATE THE INTRUDER!"

The two other Daleks turned and saw Bib chewing his second stick of gum.

"IT IS THE THIEF WHO STOLE THE DALEK ARMOR LONG AGO!" one of them exclaimed. "THE DOCTOR IS WITH HIM. THEY MUST BE EXTERMINATED!"

But the Twi'lek alien was quick enough to spit that gum out onto the second Dalek's eyestalk and render him sightless.

"I only have one stick of gum left," Bib thought as he watched the third Dalek come closer to him. "I hope it's enough to prevent that mistake from happening."

"Here!" Mace spoke rudely as he shoved a shotgun into Bib's hands. "Use this!"

"Where did you get this?" Bib replied, looking confusingly at the gun.

"You see it all the time in my living room. Shoot that sucker down!"

Bib aimed directly at the Dalek's eyestalk and blasted it to pieces. Now he was not able to see the intended targets of his powerful death ray. All the trio had to do now was go prevent Lushros from making a fool out of himself.

Bib quietly entered Mace's house and found Lushros around the corner into the kitchen, where he was digging waffles out of the freezer. Since Bib still had that last piece of gum in his mouth, this was his chance to distract Lushros and keep him away from Mace's car.

"What's up, boy-boy!" Bib exclaimed happily as he walked into the kitchen.

Lushros screamed, surprised that someone had caught him in his act of eating Mace's waffles in secret. "Why are you here?!" he replied. "Please go away!"

"Nope! Not until you get rid of those waffles, and say goodnight! Your cat's waiting for you at home, and you're here stealing fizzy lifting drinks! Go to bed, get some sleep! Watch your favorite Popeye episode and laugh until milk comes out of your nose!"

As Bib said all that, he created quite a mess upon poor Lushros' head. He pierced Lushros' ears, then hooked two waffles onto them to serve as edible earrings. He stuffed an orange slice into his mouth to keep him silent, and he placed Lushros' green fingers onto a frying pan to grill them and make them look like cooked and dried fish. Finally, Bib blew the biggest bubble with his gum, and let it pop all over Lushros' face. He poked both Lushros' eyes so that they were sealed shut thanks to the gum.

"Take a shower, puppet-head!" Bib insulted as he walked back outside. He motioned to the Doctor to set the controls of the ship and take them back to the present time.

"Wait a minute!" Mace interrupted as he closed the doors to the TARDIS. "What about my car? It will still explode!"

"Like I said…" Bib replied as the TARDIS vanished, "…FIX IT YOURSELF!"

 **I DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS BETTER OR WORSE THAN THE PREVIOUS STORY. WELL, WE JUST HAVE TO PLAY THE ODDS. THANKS FOR READING!**

 **Did you notice that I used the same Star Wars characters from** _ **The Great Go-Kart Tournament**_ **? I wrote that story during the summer of 2015, and I'm sure you will enjoy it as much as I did.**

 **Special thanks to Da guy next door for the inspiration!**


End file.
